I was recently out with a friend, catching up on the past, talking about the present and exploring the future. As the conversation progressed I was asked about my work and how things were going.
Within 10 seconds after I started sharing I noticed that they were distracted and looking behind me, I paused and asked if everything was okay, everything was fine they said so they asked "what were you saying" I started up again and serious within 5 seconds they were distracted again!
I led the conversation back to them because frankly, I didn't like the feeling of not mattering so I did what I do well, I asked questions, inquired, and shortly the lunch came to a close.
I don't think this person even realized it but what I learned was that when it came to MY dreams and aspirations that person was either not able to relate or worse... give the gift of their full attention.
Now I understand it's hard for us all to stay focused, we get trapped in what we think they should say or what we want to hear. The thing is that listening to someone, really listening, will be a gift to both people involved.
If you get distracted while someone is talking.... just be honest and let them know. This will show you care and that you give them the respect of being honest about what just happened.
While in the above example I finished my thought and moved the conversation back around to what mattered to them... the feeling never left me. I guess I could have stopped talking and waited for them to notice or ask them why they asked, and I realize now I should have, because the feeling of not mattering was kinda sucky on the the drive back to work.
I got over it shortly because I do know that I matter and there are many others that care about where I am going and what I am working toward. These like-minded people are showing up in droves right now in my life and I know this is because I have been showing up for them.
Soon enough people will take themselves out of your life if they are truly not interested... and I suggest you bless and release them!
Don't forget that the act of giving someone your full attention is free to give but a priceless gift to the recipient! - Anna